Parenting can be challenging on its own—but navigating different opinions from extended family members can add another layer of complexity. In many cultures, especially within Muslim families, parenting is often seen as a collective effort. While this can be a blessing, it can also lead to disagreements or unwanted advice when views on parenting clash.

Islam teaches us to uphold family ties with kindness and patience, even when differences arise. The key is to balance respect for elders with the responsibility of raising your children in a way that aligns with your values and beliefs.

Understanding the Source of the Differences

Often, differing views on parenting come from generational or cultural gaps rather than bad intentions. Grandparents or relatives may approach parenting based on their own experiences or traditions, which may not align with your current goals or Islamic practices.

• Be empathetic: Acknowledge their care and concern.

• Be clear: Gently express that your approach is intentional and based on what you believe is best for your child.

Communicate with Wisdom and Respect

The Qur’an encourages respectful dialogue, even in the face of disagreement. When dealing with extended family, adopt a tone that is firm yet courteous.

“And speak to people good [words]...”
(Qur’an 2:83)

• Avoid confrontation; instead, explain your parenting choices calmly.

• Use “we” language (e.g., “We’ve decided to...”) to show unity between you and your spouse.

• Listen with patience, even if you choose not to follow the advice.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are not about cutting people off—they’re about protecting your family’s values and peace.

• Be consistent in your parenting decisions so that extended family understands and respects your role.

• Politely but firmly redirect conversations or behaviors that undermine your approach.

• Let your actions speak—over time, results often earn respect.

Stay Anchored in Islamic Principles

Let your parenting be guided by the Qur’an and Sunnah, not by pressure or guilt. Share Islamic teachings with relatives in a respectful manner when appropriate.

• For example, explain why certain practices (like gentle discipline, modesty, or avoiding haram entertainment) are important to you.

• Involve your children in positive Islamic routines to show how faith shapes your parenting.

Find Common Ground

While you may not agree on everything, try to find areas where you and your extended family align—like love for the child, good manners, or education.

• Encourage their involvement in ways that support your values, such as reading Islamic stories, teaching family traditions, or helping with homework.

• This builds bridges rather than walls.

Make Du’a and Seek Wisdom

Ask Allah for guidance, patience, and wisdom in dealing with family dynamics. Raising children in a peaceful and principled environment is a noble effort, and du’a is a powerful tool to help navigate these situations.

“My Lord, grant me the ability to be grateful... and make my offspring righteous…”
(Qur’an 46:15)

Final Thoughts

Parenting in the presence of differing opinions is a test—but one that can be managed with grace, clarity, and faith. Remember, your responsibility is to raise your children in a way that pleases Allah. Do so with compassion toward your family, but stay firm in your convictions. When handled with wisdom, even disagreements can become opportunities for understanding and mutual respect.